How to Let Him Know You’re Okay with His Fleshlight Collection

How to Let Him Know You’re Okay with His Fleshlight Collection

There’s still a lot of stigma around using sex toys. While it’s becoming more common place for women to admit enjoying their vibrators, guys don’t always have it so easy. Clearly a lot of guys and people with penises use sex toys. But that doesn’t mean they always feel like they can admit it. If you know your guy wants to use a Fleshlight or already has a growing collection, here are a few ways to let him know you’re cool with it.

Tell Him How You Feel

Tell Him How You FeelThe quickest and simplest way to make your feelings known is to tell him. Say something like, “I know you’ve got a Fleshlight [Alternately, try “I know you want to buy a Fleshlight”], and I think it’s great!” From there, the conversation can get into specifics about why you’re fine with it or how he feels.

This is also a great way to share your own love of sex toys and what you have in your personal collection. This conversation allows for a lot more openness between you and a lot less stigma, fear, and shame about using sex toys.

Invite Him to Bring His Fleshlight To Bed

Want to show him you’re okay with him using a Fleshlight instead of just telling him? Let him know he can use his stroker in bed when you’re around. This could be an open invitation to masturbate with it whenever he feels like. It could also be a way to add more sex toy use into your mutual sexual pleasure.

One way to add his Fleshlight to your fun together is to use the sleeve together. If you also have a penis, then you can share — as long as you’re both comfortable with that. But if you don’t, maybe he’ll let you “drive” and use the stroker on him. This can be part of foreplay or it can be how you have sex.

Masturbate Together

Masturbate TogetherNothing says, “I’m fine with your Fleshlight and other strokers” like mutual masturbation. Get into bed together with your favorite sex toys, and use them on yourselves, together. If you’re feeling extra sexy, you can use them on each other. He can press your vibrator against your body while you stroke his Fleshlight up and down for him.

Masturbating together leads to more intimacy between the two of you and less pressure to “perform” during partnered sex. Instead of feeling bad because you said, “No thanks” to sex yet again or you faked your way through it, mutual masturbation gives you the chance to experience sexual pleasure together but on your own terms.

Buy Him a Fleshlight

You don’t need a reason to buy him a Fleshlight other than you want to, but they do make great Valentine, birthday, and other holiday gifts. If you know he’d like his first (or his next) stroker but hasn’t bought one, considering gifting it to him. Nothing says, “I support your next orgasm” like buying your partner their own sex toy.

Of course, once he opens it up, you can suggest all the ways you can enjoy it together.

  • Watching him masturbate.
  • Masturbating together.
  • Stroking him with it.
  • Giving him space to masturbate when he feels like it — with or without you.
  • Using it in kinky role play or kinky sex.

Even if he doesn’t take one of your suggestions, you’ll leave no doubt that you support his love of Fleshlights and other sex toys.


Learning how to be comfortable with your own sexual pleasure as well as your partner’s opens up a whole new world of opportunity. There’s nothing shameful about using sex toys or masturbating while in a relationship, but a lot of people still believe “it’s a problem.” This stops people of all genders from exploring desires and trying new things, and it stigmatizes pleasure outside of partnered sex. None of those things help us become more sex positive.

If you want to help change things for the better, for yourself or your partner, show him that you’re comfortable with his Fleshlight collection. Encourage him to buy and use the sex toys he loves. And make sure you’re exploring your sexual pleasure in the way you enjoy most, too. When you do, it becomes easier to explore sexy fun together.

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Kayla L. Written by Kayla L..

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