Why Any Sex Toy Can Be a Couples Sex Toy
Couples sex toys can be a lot of fun. They provide mutual stimulation and sexual pleasure, and they turn the sex you’re used to having into a completely new experience. For many couples, the right sex toy can make the difference between a boring rut and an exciting adventure.
But any sex toy that you enjoy can be a sex toy you bring into bed with your partner. Even if it’s not designed for both of you to use, your favorite has a place in your relationship.
Different Sensations for Each of You
When you grab a favorite sex toy that hits the right spot or gives you the stimulation you crave, you’re getting what you need. There’s no reason why you can’t have that feeling while you’re having sex with your partner, too. It doesn’t mean that what you’re doing together doesn’t feel good or that your partner doesn’t satisfy you. It simply means that you’re adding another layer to your pleasure.
This is especially true for women. The reality is that many women don’t get off by penetrative sex alone. That’s just one good reason to grab a sex toy when things get hot. You can put your vibrator against your clitoris or stick a butt plug in or add nipple clamps or whatever you need to get the stimulation you crave.
While sex is something you do together, you don’t have to feel or enjoy the exact same sensations at the same time. You can experience the moment together and still get exactly what you both need, even if you each need something different.
Focus on Your Pleasure
Sex with a partner happens in three parts: your pleasure, their pleasure, and the pleasure you feel together. In a perfect world whatever kind of sex you have will be good for both of you, individually and together. But sometimes you need more. Sometimes your partner needs something more.
There is zero shame in pulling out a sex toy you usually use alone and bringing it along for the ride. It’s perfectly okay to say, “This feels great, but I need something more” and then let your toy provide that for you. Depending on what it is, your partner might get something from it or they may simply get pleasure in knowing that you’re getting what you need.
Sex is a group endeavor but you’re allowed to focus on your own pleasure, too.
Sex Means Anything You Want It To
For some people, sex equals intercourse, penetration by a penis into a vagina. But in reality, sex can be anything you want it to be: oral sex, anal sex, masturbation, kinky fun, with an orgasm or without. And yes, playing with sex toys can “count” as sex, too.
What does that mean for you?
- Lying on the bed, side by side, each using your favorite sex toy — alone — can be sex.
- Holding your partner’s vibrator against their body and “driving” can be part of sex.
- Using a sex toy with your partner for your mutual pleasure can be a part of sex.
- Trying new sensations to experiment can be sex.
And there’s no single sex toy that will provide that for everyone. So yes, buy couples sex toys like vibrating cock rings or strap on harness and dildos. If that’s what brings you pleasure, go for it. But your favorite pocket pussy, butt plug, or vibrator can also have a place in your sex life, especially once you start redefining what sex means to you.
You Each Have Different Needs
In an ideal world, both of you could touch each other in a way that would guarantee immediate and total pleasure. But bodies simply don’t work that way. Yes, sometimes you’re both on the same wavelength and everything clicks perfectly. But that won’t always be the case.
Using a sex toy to put yourself over the edge of pleasure, to get yourself off, or to provide a little extra sensation is okay. It has nothing to do with what kind of lover your partner is. Your body needs something more, and the right sex toy can help you get what you need.
And yes, even when the focus of a specific sex toy is on your body and not your partner’s, it’s still part of your mutual sexual pleasure. It’s still a couples sex toy.
Sex toys don’t have to be a dirty little secret that you only use alone, and you don’t have to use toys designated for “couples only.” Your individual and mutual pleasure are important, and if a sex toy puts you over the edge and gives you more of what you need, use it. As with anything, talking to your partner first is always important. Nothing ruins sex more than an unpleasant surprise. Have the conversation and then find out if your favorite sex toy has a place in bed with you and your partner.
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