How Vibrators Help Close the Orgasm Gap
Not every vibrator has to be relegated to BOB status. That’s battery-operated-boyfriend, if you didn’t know. Yes, vibrations make excellent sensations for masturbation, but they’re great for partnered sex, too. The right toy, whether that’s a vibrator or something else, can increase sexual satisfaction and the orgasm gap.
The orgasm gap isn’t just a buzzword you see online. It’s a real thing that can be fixed. For some people, vibrators are the solution. Here’s what you need to know.
What is the Orgasm Gap?
If you’re not familiar with the “orgasm gap,” it’s a term that explains the reality that women in heterosexual relationships experience fewer orgasms than their male partners. This gap doesn’t exist in the same way in non-straight relationships. It’s primarily a phenomenon in straight relationships.
There are a lot of reasons for this gap, including the reality that society and culture center sex around ejaculation. Don’t believe it? Think about this: if you’re straight, how do you decide you’re done having sex? For the vast majority of couples, it’s usually when the guy gets off — regardless of whether his partner had an orgasm or not. That’s what centering ejaculation looks like — and it’s one of the reasons for the orgasm gap.
Why Vibrators Can Help Close the Gap
It’s not a foregone conclusion that straight men will always have more orgasms than their female partners. When guys slow down and focus on their partner’s pleasure, the gap closes a bit. But even with extra care and attention, sometimes outside, mechanical assistance is needed. Yes, we mean vibrators. Here’s how they help.
Focus the Stimulation
Everyone is different and needs stimulation in specific spots and at specific intensities. For some women, this comes from vibrators. This works whether they prefer clitoral or vaginal stimulation — or both. A vibrator focuses the intensity in the exact right spot and never gets tired (as long as the batteries are fresh or charged). You can move it around, change up the intensity, and keep it going until you get off. For some women orgasms take a while, and a vibrator lasts as long as needed.
Provide Different Sensations
No matter how good a finger, tongue, or dick feels, sometimes you need a different sensation. With multiple intensities and patterns, vibrators provide this in a way no human can. Buzzing, humming, thrumming, you name it, and a vibrator can likely do it. And for some women, this is what they need to get off.
Explore Different Desires
Like any sex toy, vibrators help people explore desires — some they might not have known they had until they tried it. There are so many different types of vibrators, including vibrating anal plugs which allows people to try anal in a very stimulating way. Vibrators also come in a variety of shapes and styles, so a person who thinks they don’t like clitoral stimulation might love it with the right toy. At the same time, someone who wants a G-spot orgasm may only be able to do it with a vibrator.
Slow Down Sex
By “sex” we mean penetration that ends in ejaculation. If this is your experience of sex, and it doesn’t last long enough for both partners to get off, a vibrator may help. Not only does it stop the “main action” from happening too soon, it gives you both a reason to focus on pleasure in a different way. As long as both partners are satisfied, it doesn’t really matter how long sex lasts between you. But pulling out the vibrator first means that penetration is delayed and everyone gets what they want in the end.
Vibrators aren’t the Holy Grail of orgasms — unless it’s what you need to get off and you find the right kind. If you have a partner who doesn’t care about your needs, that’s a problem no vibrator can truly solve. But if you (or your partner) aren’t getting off as much as you’d like, adding the right vibrator may help.
Good partnered sex isn’t just about orgasms. It’s about mutual pleasure. The orgasm gap shows that not every sexual encounter ends in mutual pleasure. Bring your favorite vibrator to bed with you and find out if that makes the entire experience better for you — and your partner.