The Dos and Don’ts of Going to a Sex Shop With Your Partner

The Dos and Don’ts of Going to a Sex Shop With Your Partner

We all know, as of right now, shopping at a sex toy store is out of the question. But we can’t be the only ones making lists of all the places we’ll go as soon as lockdowns and quarantines are over. Hopefully your local sex shop is on that list, especially with your partner.

When you do go together, keep these dos and don’ts in mind so everyone has a good shopping experience.

Let’s start with things you should definitely do when the two of you go to a sex shop!

Do Have Fun

Do Have FunIf it’s the first time for either of you, it’s normal to feel a little intimidated. You’ll likely see toys you’ve never seen before and people from all walks of life. But remember the fun is in the name — it’s an adult “toy” store, remember? So try not to let your nerves get the best of you and have fun.

Ohh and ahh over the different types of toys. Whisper to each other about what you can do with a toy when you get it home. Tease and flirt with each other. Enjoy yourself!

Do Explore New Things

There’s nothing wrong with going straight to your favorite type of sex toy: vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, or the kink section. But while you’re in the store, walk down aisles of toys you’re not familiar with. Talk to each other about what you might like to try, now or in the future.

Shopping together for sex toys is a good time to also talk about your own sexual fantasies. You don’t have to get too intense with it. Saying something like, “I’d really like to use a strap-on one day” is enough. If your partner indicates interest, check out that aisle with them and start the conversation.

Do Ask Questions

Do Ask QuestionsWhether it’s about a type of toy you know you want or one that’s new to you, feel free to ask the staff any questions you might have. It’s their job to be able to help you find the right product for what you’re looking for. They want you to leave with something you’ll like, so don’t be afraid to approach them.

The staff can also tell you if the toy you want is in another color or size. If you shop for lingerie or shoes, they can check sizes for you. And if you wonder how a product works or feels (in your hand!), they can help with that, too.

Do Remember the Lube

If you’re not already using lube regularly, why not? Lube makes any kind of sex you have better — including masturbation. If you buy a dildo, butt plug, vibrator, masturbator, or anything else, pick up lube, too.

Sex shops always have a huge variety of personal lubricants so you can find exactly what you need. And lube could be the main attraction for your sexy fun. Instead of buying a sex toy, buy flavored lubes for oral sex fun or sensation lubes for a new experience.

Okay, so you know what to do together. Let’s talk about what not to do.

Don’t Be Judgmental

Don’t Be JudgmentalBoth you and your partner will likely come across a toy, a kink, or something sexual you don’t like. Don’t talk about how “gross” or “weird” something is where other people can hear you (maybe don’t do it at all). Sex toys are meant to be sex-positive spaces where anyone can be into anything that’s legal. We don’t all enjoy the same things, and that’s okay. Don’t yuck on anyone else’s yum.

Don’t Stare at Other People

Just like you want privacy and anonymity in a sex shop, so does everyone else. Whether you see types of people you’ve never seen before or overhear conversations, don’t stare. It makes people feel awkward and less safe in the store. You and your partner want to shop in peace and so does everyone else.

Don’t Ask Strangers Personal Questions

This goes for staff and other customers. Asking other people what they’re into or if they’re interested in being your “third” is gross and invasive. It’s fine to meet people and strike up casual conversations. But you shouldn’t be leading with, “Do you like to be f*cked up the a$$?” Not cool.

Don’t Invade Other’s Personal Space

Sometimes people are looking at the same vibrator you want to check out. Again, because personal conversations tend to happen in sex shops — and people want to maintain privacy — getting too close is awkward. You probably don’t want total strangers standing close enough to hear your conversation about the penis pump, cock ring, or penis sheath for your erectile dysfunction. They don’t want you to hear their conversations, either.


The dos and don’ts are pretty simple. Have fun, be cool, and focus on the experience with your partner. If you do that, your first (or next) trip to a sex shop can be great!

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Kayla L. Written by Kayla L..

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