Why Anyone of Any Gender Can Use Any Sex Toy
People often think about sex toys in a very binary gendered way. We tend to think that there are “toys for men” and “toys for women,” with very little in between. However, it’s important to acknowledge that gender and sex are far more complicated than these two categories. That’s why people of any gender can use any sex toy!
To begin with, gender isn’t defined by the type of genitals you have. Some women have penises, some men have vulvas, and some people are non-binary and don’t fit into either of the boxes labelled “male” and “female.”
We believe that your gender shouldn’t be a barrier to using sex toys in the way you want. Read on to learn a few ways to think differently about sex toy use.
Get Creative in How You Use Sex Toys
The only correct way to use a sex toy is to do so (safely) in the way that feels good for you and your body! So why not get creative in the way you use your toys, and try them in different ways beyond their originally intended use?
Wand vibrators aka body massagers are often categorized as “for women,” but they’re actually one of the most versatile types of toy you can buy. Anyone with a vulva can use a wand for amazing, powerful clitoral stimulation. But they can also feel amazing on penises and balls (or pressed against an anal toy, used on nipples, or even repurposed as a back massager! You can also get affordable attachments that adapt your wand to suit different types of bodies.
What about using a G-spot vibrator for prostate stimulation (as long as it has a flared base,) using a vibrating cock ring for clitoral play, or using a wearable couple’s vibrator as a hands-free solo sex toy?
The possibilities are endless, so just do what feels good for you and stop worrying about whether you’re doing it “right.” There’s no such thing!
Erogenous Zones Everyone Has
Everyone has a butt, and everyone has nipples! Anal play isn’t just something that cis gay men can enjoy giving and receiving. In fact, it can feel amazing for everyone, regardless of gender and the type of genitals you have. So butt plugs and anal-safe dildos are, by default, completely gender-neutral toys.
Nipple play is also great for anyone of any gender. Toys like nipple clamps and nipple suckers aren’t usually gendered, but what about repurposing other toys for this purple? Small bullet vibrators, flickering toys like the Fun Factory Volta, and suction-based toys like Satisfyer and Womanizer’s air pressure stimulators can all feel amazing on nipples.
Sex Toys Can Be Gender Affirming
If your gender identity doesn’t align with the sex you were assigned at birth, you might experience dysphoria that can impact your sex life. Not all trans people experience dysphoria and whether you do or not, you might be interested in sex toys that can help you feel affirmed in your gender.
For example, many trans men use packers. These are dildos that can be worn under clothing and feel like a factory-installed penis. They may also enjoy using strap-ons for penetrative sex, and some find that dildos that match their skin tone feel more like part of their body.
Of course, strap-ons are also great for anyone: from couples where both parties have vulvas, to trans women who may or may not have a penis, to cis men who struggle to maintain an erection. The possibilities are endless.
The most important question is this: Does a particular sex toy make you feel good in your gender? If so, it’s a good choice for you!
Use Them to Try Out Fantasies
The right sex toy can be a great way to make your sexual fantasy come to life.
For example, if you fetishize giving oral sex, a dildo or pocket pussy can allow you to live out that fantasy. If you’re into temperature play, you can use a glass toy to play with heat and cold safely, whether you insert it or not. Maybe you and your partner fantasize about bringing a third party into the bedroom, but can’t or don’t want to do it for real. The right sex toy can help you bring it to life in a less threatening way.
Remember: Sex Toys Don’t Have a Gender
Your sex toy doesn’t have to be gendered unless you want it to be. Gender is complicated and bodies come in all different varieties. It makes sense that different things feel good for each of us. If you (and your partner, if you have one) are having fun and being safe, then you’re using your toys in the right way!